Deafening Silence, Moving Stillness and the Power of Conscious Breathing

3 pm on August 11th I met Linea, the woman who agreed to carry me with her to a 10 day silent meditation retreat up near Centralia, Washington.  For the both of us this would be our first experience with Vipassana, a breathing technique accompanying stillness attached to a philosophy of practicing equanimity with all that arises; comfort and discomfort, physical and mental.  We were equally intrigued and terrified of what we would find during this time dedicated to exploring deep within our own psyche.

I am writing not to describe the logistics of this retreat but rather the importance of it, and other opportunities to be still, silent and focused on breathing.  Add to this environment being surrounded by nature, fed a vegetarian, whole food diet, and supported so that distractions could be kept to a bare minimum and you have the just of our retreat environment.  Let me say though that you can have the first three factors without the last three and still find great value.

First, let’s talk about breathing.  Yes, breathing!  You may be thinking, “but we do that every minute of every day without needing to help it along”.  Yes however take a moment to consider the quality of your breathing.  When you feel stressed or agitated how do you breathe?  What about when you feel relieved or relaxed?  In the first scenario you are bound to recognize that ones breathing becomes shallow & rapid.  This tempo & depth of respiration is indicative of a ‘fight or flight’ response experienced when our sympathetic nervous system gets activated.  Think of it as a gas pedal that’s been pushed to the floor to carry us away from danger in a hurry.  On the opposite side of things we have the parasympathetic nervous system, often referred to the ‘rest and digest’ trigger.  Here we have the brake that slows us down in safe, protected zones.   When we are feeling chill our breathing becomes slower & more full.

In today’s environment full of deadlines, heavy traffic and never ending ‘to-do’ lists most of us have our engine running on high idle, always just a little bit revved.  With this normalcy we’ve grown accustomed to a rate and quality of breathing that is less than beneficial, sometimes even unconsciously holding our breath.  Maybe take a minute now and see where your breathing is at then take a few intentional slow, deep breaths.  Now doesn’t that feel better?  

Added to our daily surroundings, unless you are lucky enough to live deep in a sanctuary far from the hustle and bustle, we are constantly inundated with sound, sound you don’t even pick up on because you’ve grown accustomed.  This with the seemingly perpetual motion modern life appears to require of us adds to a subtle, or not so subtle, level of stress that keeps us one step ahead of our thoughts.  This is part of what Vipassana is meant to rectify.

Upon arrival at the NW Vipassana Center we all hand over our devices, some reluctantly & others enthusiastically.  No writing, no reading, no distractions whatsoever.  Still, silent and focused.  Can you imagine?!?  Oh boy!!!

Now this Vipassana set up is based on the teachings of Siddhartha Gautama (Buddha)  who committed to sitting in stillness, with eyes closed, until he reached enlightenment.  What he discovered, and taught, was that the path to enlightenment was through the release of reacting to cravings or aversions.  You might notice that we, in general, are found to either be running toward something (craving) or away from something (aversion).  Instead, these teachings suggest we first recognize our default patterns then look upon the culprit of either our cravings or aversions with a ‘balanced and equanimous mind’ so that we may instead choose conscious responses.  And, these patterns of behavior can be found deeply rooted in our bodies and experienced as uncomfortable or painful sensations if we give them a chance to show themselves (stillness).  Once the sensations arise they bring with them a myriad of emotional baggage which we are again to look upon without judgement as best we can.  It’s a process of peeling back the layers one by one and healing them within our own minds.  This is an extremely gross simplification in hopes to relay at least a baseline understanding.

Over the years science, both of the physical body and of the mind, has begun drawing a direct correlation to mental trauma and physical pain.  In Bessel Van Der Kolk’s book The Body Keeps the Score he uses his expertise in psychiatry and research to describe in detail this link.  In neurology what is known as the limbic system, responsible for memories and emotion, is a major factor in how we hold on to past traumas.  Our nervous system creates stress in response to these traumas and they often materializing as pain is the body.  These emotional traumas can be found lurking deep below the surface due to our tendency to repress them in an effort to get back to our regularly scheduled program of life as we know it.  They reside just below the surfaces, often times driving your reactions to any situation that feels remotely similar to that trauma. Again, another gross simplification.  FYI, the limbic system (emotional memory) is directly tied to the sympathetic (fight or flight) and parasympathetic (rest and digest) nervous systems.  Think ‘once bitten, twice shy’ analogy.  

Now, let’s talk about how silence, stillness and breathing come into play. 

Shamanic breathwork, Rebirthing, Transformational breathwork, Holotropic breathwork… so many methods to choose from.  In a more ‘hippie woo woo’ way to explain it is that you are bringing in large amounts of positive life force energy (oxygen) that drives out the dark, negative traumas allowing you to revisit them from a sturdier foundation, with support, so you might respond in a more empowered, productive, true to you way.  With this practice one might find they rewrite the narrative by viewing the entire situation with more objectivity and compassion.

Back in 1991 I was first introduced to breath work.  A yogi by the name of Ravi Ray Tolbert facilitated a technique called Vivation.  Vivation, one practice among many, uses an uninterrupted circular pattern of inhalation and exhalation to help you achieve a higher state of physical awareness.  Very much like the teachings I received during Vipassana, it is said that by brining your awareness into the present & focusing on felt sensations in the body you will uncover the root to past traumas stored there.  My personal experience did, in fact, take me face to face with a significant trauma from a relatively recent past and, through the guidance & support of Mr Tolbert, I was able to rewrite the narrative finding grace for both myself and the one who transgressed upon me.  With this new, objective  version of what occurred along with a more compassionate story describing what went down I was able to release myself from the pain, as well as the guilt for how I responded, I had held for several years.  Now, this was way before I connected to my inner hippie woo woo alter ego.  I was impressed.

So why the silence?  As mentioned above one never really knows how surrounded we are by noises that fill our brains with entertainment keeping our minds busy by diverting our thoughts away from those that are most uncomfortable.  We must face those unpleasant voices in our heads, be it our own critical voice or scrutinizing voices of others, if we are to eradicate them from our psyche.  To be able to recognize belief pattens keeping you stuck is of utmost importance.  How are you to tease out that which needs to be dealt with if you don’t silence the rest? This is the value of silence, and what’s left when you quiet the outside can oftentimes sound quite cacophonous.

Stillness!  Who can do it?  Sit in one place, in one position for an extended period of time without jumping up to clean the dishes, fold the laundry, write down the ‘to-do’ item you just remembered, or something along those lines?  It’s tougher than you might think.  Maybe you already know this.  This ‘squirrel’ effect is yet another distraction tactic keeping you from having to sit with discomfort.  You can choose to challenge this reactive aspect of yourself by simply recognizing the distraction you’ve come up with then simply letting it ride without moving to meet it.  As the teacher in this Vipassana movement, Mr Goenka, would say, “be aware, be aware, be aware.  Observe, with a calm and equanimous mind”.  Assign no judgement to either the part of self that is sitting still & not being productive in a traditional, western way and assign no judgement to the thoughts that arise.  Simply be aware, observe, and breathe!

Over the years of massage I would often hear my high powered corporate clients saying how they were going to challengethemselves by running a marathon, hike a mountain or train for some other physically exhaustive feat.  My response… “I challenge you to sit still and rest”.  Most find the latter much harder to commit to than the former. 

Through taking time to merge these three practices (silence, stillness, breathing) you can literally stop the world, your world, and rediscover the truth of you.  For this brief time you might even let the responsibility of all the labels and identities you strongly associate with slip away, going back to simply being human. How would that feel? 

If you find this concept intriguing and attractive you can learn more by visiting www.dhamma.org. Another cool part of the Vipassana offering, it's totally free to attend.

With you on the journey,

Cheryl